I dont understand you

Vittoria You say your running away from everything, like sadness, but you still cry, So obviously your not running fast enough, or maybe it just goes to show you never can, So why should you even both running, take it as it is! When I said Finding something else to do with your emotions I didn't mean like... I guess literally doing stuff I meant like Ok so you can't do something or so what your mad, Instead of crying about it why don't you think about what you can do. 

Everyone around you and me and everyone in the world always nags, and says things that you can't do, Thats great So I don't know, Just of all things, you want to spend your Youth Crying? Show them what you can do? If you feel left out, Be proud of being alone? Like Do something maybe you can't do when your with other people, anything Don't you have enough opportunities to be doing something? Anything, there is so much you could be doing. 

Besides I mean My dad has been nagging at me to do all this stuff since his back has been acting up, Dishes, Laundry (which I already do ) Carry all this stuff around, now don't I sound like a whinny little baby? I don't like being nagged but in a way I think its fine, because I never have to do anything, Someone giving me responsibility is good for me, so just learn to appreciate it, Other then sitting around and thinking how much better my life would be If I had this or that, or didn't have all this pressure. 

The problem with everyone being so damn unhappy is they always think life is better somewhere else, look over there, They don't have to deal with this blah blah, there grass is fucking greener, WHO CARES, it is what it is, and you can't do anything so You might as well get used to it, and Start looking at what you do have, opposed to what you don't. 

all they are is a nuisance to me. its not fair. thinking of how much fun they are having, without me.

So why Do you put yourself through it, I guess I could have not invited you at all, I mean you kind of snapped at me when you asked if we could come pick you up. You asked in a really bitchy tone not going to lie. So you know you can't come out and play, Easy for me to say right, I can do whatever the hell I want! I'm saying you can always make your own fun, I don't even wanna hear any crap NO I CAN'T because my parents are so mean or blah blah blah, you can. ( I know EASY for michelle to say cause shes so damn happy all the time, and her parents don't Give a damn what she does!. Sure. ) 

because when you dont think too deeply about things, when you keep them simple.. you must be so much happier. 

Are you saying I'm stupid? And Don't think ? Because I am A really happy content person.

 I have what I have and I am happy with that. I'm not super or anything, I don't have some special powers, I am just like you, believe it or not, I am not trying to sound me, or yell at you your Asking Questions I am trying to help I feel like if  I come off to nice then I am not being Clear enough. You don't have to even read or take in anything I am saying, ITs all up to you, you can do what ever you want. Jealousy Is part of the problem, it all goes back to comparing yourself, Don't you see a pattern vittoria? Everything Is all about wanting more, and not being happy with just being. You have got to just except who you are, and that everyones not better then you, no one is everyone else is just different, everyone is different there are no Real levels of comparison because while you are looking at someone else, they are looking at you, thinking the same thing and it all equals out, but no one knows that, because were all so worried about being better. You want to know how to be happy, how to stop running away ? Then stop wishing you Had what some one else does, and don't tell me you don't. Stop trying to be that much better, then you can be and be happy that you are there, stop Looking the way you do, seeing what you see, you have got to see the better in things and not the worse. I can't ever say that enough. 

 pretend to them that im happy all the time,

Trust me, They will  know. 

Oh, last thing, ... you were not being left out Because we invited you? ITs not like we go behind your back and hang out? If that makes sense, We want you there, you said in the middle how you weren't cool or something and its like... WE obviously want you there since we invited you. And you and omar feeling left out, God you too are so much a like, not with the whole Clingy thing in ways you always compare you and him to, in ways with personality. So If you too left out, Why didn't you guys just hang out together? Then no one would have been alone. 

Hey.

I . don't. want. you. to . cry . for . me. 

I know you can't help it, but really that does only make things worse, thats all I told myself when I was little, being My sister was a cry baby, and all anyone did was yell, 

Yelling and crying never got anyone anywhere, You have to find somewhere else to channel your emotion. Crying is like... a way to feel bad for yourself almost? I don't know how to put it, Just sometimes Its ok I guess, but sometimes Things should play out a certain way, and Im not going to sit around and cry about whats done, what is, what isn't ect, It'll only make my mood drop and my head ache. Instead I've got to keep Looking up, I've got to Go for the reason that Im crying, Accept life as it comes, blah blah yay motivation, were to young to act like were not alive. 

Of all things, I know Im not motivated because in long terms .. Where the hell was I going anyways. Perhaps this is how its supposed to happen, as I think everything thats happened, was going to happen. Some people call it fate as dumb as that sounds. 

I don't know whats going to happen, but Im going to live now and take it one day at a time, just like every other teenager out there. 

note to self

I miss you terribly.

Not the intended post, but whenever I say note to self, that always plays itself out in my head.

ME TOO!!!!!

... thats all. XD i saw that and had to reply.

Well look at this a discussion at hand! ! OH HOT DAMN THIS IS MY JAM. thats always in my head. 

OK 

 so whatever. although i wish shed tell me how she feels about me more often.. its k. cause michelle wins. she the coolest kid ever, and thats the excuse that makes us never mad at her. 

haha vittoria I don't know if I said it like when you said sometimes you think you hold back things from your blog since people read it, ( as a reply I was gonna be like nooo girl you let it out! less you don't wanna, its your call )  see I don't hold things back, Since I have been used to sam reading my blog after I wrote stuff I didn't know he'd see and then I just stayed normal and adding you wasn't any different. So if I don't blog about something about you then its not even big enough to blog about you know? In other words then theres nothing else your missing out of ;D 

michelle. if you want to talk to me about you not having your period and stuff, you can. but ill keep quiet if its easier not to say anything about it. 

Its just harder for me to confess whats really going on, I don't even like confessing any of it to myself so talking about it seriously is difficult. Like its not that I don't want to, its that I can't bring myself to do it. 

replying to hunters "drugs" post (sam)

not really any of my business, but i just had to comment. your blog wouldnt let me for some reason, it didnt even take me to a new page or anything when i pressed comment, lol. im just curious on this viewpoint of ditching a friend because of their drug use. the only reason i could see that you would ditch someone is if they actually CHANGED because of drugs. and that really doesnt happen that often, no matter how much propaganda may portray it to. michelle has not changed, vittoria has not changed, omar has not changed, me and patrick have a litte bit, but for the better. mostly thinking processes and stuff; nothing really extro.

i think it is natural for humans to smoke substance, well at least marijuana. because its been done for thousands of years, i mean there has to be some kind of evolved tolerance to the negative effects, if there were any to begin with. i think the same thing will happen with cigarettes if humans keep smoking them, even though right now there are one of the top killers. and its been proven that weed has not caused one case of death or cancer. the biggest negative effects people face are extreme not giving a fuck, in which case they are addicted, and have changed, and i would understand leaving their friendship.

youre still my friend, hunter. and ive done... weed, acid, shrooms, dxm, benadryl, many pills, ecstasy, and im sure other shit i dont remember. actually not only you are, but kelsey and allison (those who threatened to leave michelle if her drug use continued), are also still friends with me. that must be because i havent changed. and all michelle and toria have done are like.. weed and alcohol.

well anyway, youre entitled to your opinions of course, i just wanted to throw in my two cents as it seems to be a hot topic recently in our circle of friends xD

LOOK WHAT I MADE

SHE WOLF!!!! thats me and you :D

and then i just made these and thought they were cute. well one kinda looks skanky..





thats all! xD im boreddd. MEHHHH. i was thinking, when my hair is longer, id make it silly like that last one one day. x) hehe. i did before, but i didnt like it. my mom wanted to see what it would look like.

kbai.

you deserve it girl

Vittoria REading your blog actually made me upset on a rare occasion, you are pretty, and a very nice Lovely Girl (Lol thought those adjectives were funny ) anyways so you deserve someone who is going to appreciate you, and if you don't think jason is nice enough or doesn't give you enough Attention, doesn't treat you as nice blah blah then Really you should find someone better, I know Easier to say then do, but still You deserve someone better, I feel like you are lowing your standards because you can't find someone else, you don't want to break up with jasen because your afraid of being alone? You don't know who to go to much, Yes you do love jaysen but you know it wont work out, and well Look at how often he makes you upset-ish. 

you know if sam ever breaks up with me, I think finding a new boyfriend would be very hard because Sam has spoiled me, and is much nicer to me then any other boy I think would be. 

The thing with kelsey, she didn't mean anything by that except for the fact that your loud sometimes, Which is why she said you guys are like vittoria, loud and hyper . Which you haven't even been lately, Since you go  over with jason most the time, now it really is just hunter (P) shouting around! Kelsey doesn't not like you either, she just Figure you didn't like her, Because you guys stopped talking and since you both think the same thing, I guess I wont know who stopped first. 

ANYWAYS! 

I was gonna say lotsa stuff but now I got distracted. Damn. Oh lol Vittoria I don't think you should even stay in commited relationships since you have too much fun with boys, but thats not a bad thing, besides when I was reading That thing with that kid in class it was just like OH GOD OUT HANDS TOUCH. Vittoria its not like you had your hand down his pants XD but since you are havign somewhat of thoughts you don't think you should be having then, I am guessing you shouldn't I mean, Normally since touching hands or something isn't bad, unless you made it out to be, which it appears you did. Not on purpose, just like you made something out of nothing, Which means it probably is something, even if just a silly crush. I don't know if that tells you anything ? I know were compared to rin and tiffany in richards world but I don't see how I am really like either one of them interest wise, I think me and rin have simular like personalities I guess, but still it isn't much... I don't think your much like tiffany either, she has like 52974397 confidence, while you don't have enough, I guess where you said about the boyfriend thinh butthat could go for like half the school, anyways Its not hard to find things in common so for some reason the comparison bothers me, but not from you just from richard.  .  . 

OH SWEET BABY JESUS .

Vittoria !

First click this, BEfore you do anything else, its Important, if you don't nothing else will make sense. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=booKP974B0k

your not a terrible friend, I mean at least you Go places with your friends, I just blow everyone off all the time. XD

Anyways I am pretty sure everyone compares themselves to their best friend. Its just what people do, I used to, I just

sort of excepted who I am, and I am happy with that, so I don't tend to really compare myself anymore. It never

helped anything anyways, Even though I know its not like People can just tell themselves not to think that (well they

can its just not as easy as it sounds ) Just for me being happy means you can't keep wanting things, or Thinking about

how someone is better then you, (not saying you do this ) or can do this or that, it only makes you feel worse, You just

Gotta remember that there's probably people that look at you and do the same thing, and then you realize how silly

it is because while your thinking about how someone is this or that, There looking at you and doing the exact same thing.

I bet that contributes to the fact that you don't like yourself, cause your constantly comparing yourself to someone else. . . I

mean I don't really know, after all I am not in your head.

You are more outgoing, you just talk to people, Which I don't do, I mean I'm not like afraid of people or anything, Obviously,

I just don't really care for talking to people when I don't have much to say, And sometimes I don't, sometimes I don't

wanna talk to people, a lot of the time actually. I used to get so annoyed is someone said I was shy or something, or quiet.

Why would I ramble if I didn't have anything to say? Just so I could listen to the pitch of my own voice, Some people do that

and it annoys the crap out of me. That was a little off topic XD anyways ! Your still more outgoing and more friendly then I am

I guess I just talk to people if they talk to me, or if Its sort of a necessary thing, well I feel like it is sometimes, like If I

feel like someone's waiting to say something, or if someone feels awkward sitting there quietly, and I do have random outgoing days, I don't 

know I think We just have different ways of Making friends, or Approaching people, I don't know where both really 

different from each other, as far as personality goes but you know what they say don't you ?

Opposites attract :D baby thats fact.

I don't care that you reply to my blog, I reply to yours too its all apart of the FUN ;D

introduction

I decided to make this, For myself, and I guess hunter can use this too, to reply to something on who ever's blog. Vittoria you can use this too if  you want, but you said you don't mind putting it in your own. Anyways The reason I am making this little place is because I don't wanna keep replying on my main blog, cause its obnoxious XD (well only to me ) And neither one of your comment buttons works.